The 5 Keys of Being a Good Mother
What is a good mother? I’m sure this answer is different for every mother out there. There are many things I want to be for my daughter and there is so much I want to teach her. “The Five Keys,” which came from a book I received for Christmas about raising a daughter, sum up what I think are the most important actions I can take to raise my little girl to be a great woman. Giving Caroline unconditional love and constantly working on these five keys I think will help me to be the kind of mom I want to be.
1. Be her mother. Not her best friend.
2. Let her live her own dreams. Don’t try to make her live yours.
3. Be a strong, confident woman.
4. Be a good wife. You’re shaping her future relationships with men.
And my very favorite one:
5. Be aware that your goal is not to be the center of her life forever, but to work yourself out of a job.
Number five is my favorite because I think it will be the most difficult thing to put into action. Tonight, for instance, I have decided Caroline should begin making the transition from her bassinet next to our bed to the crib in her very own room across the hall. She’s three months old and I know it will be much easier for both of us to make the change now, rather than at six months. Throughout the day, however, I’ve been coming up with every reason I can think of why it might be better to wait; she woke up from her nap today in her crib upset, she’s been fussy all day, she might be coming down with something, etc, etc.
The real reason has nothing to do with Caroline’s state. It has everything to do with me. Listening to her breathing as she sleeps inches away from me is the most soothing sound. And there is nothing better than lifting your head from your pillow to see those bright blue eyes, wide open and ready for a new day. Having her sleep by my side gives me the most comfort I have ever felt. I have to keep reminding myself that if I want her to grow up to be an independent woman, I must take this first step. I want her to know I will always be there for her, but I also want her to be comfortable with herself and by herself. Giving in to my own feelings would not only make her grow dependent on me but also show her that I am too weak to do what’s best for her.
As for everything else I plan on trying to teach Caroline, I know from my own mom, that the best method of teaching is to lead by example. Actions speak so much louder than words, and are way more effective than nagging. Sure there’s a chance that Caroline will grow up to be the polar opposite of me. But if I work to teach her by being the person I want her to be, the worst result is me bettering myself.
1. Be her mother. Not her best friend.
2. Let her live her own dreams. Don’t try to make her live yours.
3. Be a strong, confident woman.
4. Be a good wife. You’re shaping her future relationships with men.
And my very favorite one:
5. Be aware that your goal is not to be the center of her life forever, but to work yourself out of a job.
Number five is my favorite because I think it will be the most difficult thing to put into action. Tonight, for instance, I have decided Caroline should begin making the transition from her bassinet next to our bed to the crib in her very own room across the hall. She’s three months old and I know it will be much easier for both of us to make the change now, rather than at six months. Throughout the day, however, I’ve been coming up with every reason I can think of why it might be better to wait; she woke up from her nap today in her crib upset, she’s been fussy all day, she might be coming down with something, etc, etc.
The real reason has nothing to do with Caroline’s state. It has everything to do with me. Listening to her breathing as she sleeps inches away from me is the most soothing sound. And there is nothing better than lifting your head from your pillow to see those bright blue eyes, wide open and ready for a new day. Having her sleep by my side gives me the most comfort I have ever felt. I have to keep reminding myself that if I want her to grow up to be an independent woman, I must take this first step. I want her to know I will always be there for her, but I also want her to be comfortable with herself and by herself. Giving in to my own feelings would not only make her grow dependent on me but also show her that I am too weak to do what’s best for her.
As for everything else I plan on trying to teach Caroline, I know from my own mom, that the best method of teaching is to lead by example. Actions speak so much louder than words, and are way more effective than nagging. Sure there’s a chance that Caroline will grow up to be the polar opposite of me. But if I work to teach her by being the person I want her to be, the worst result is me bettering myself.
posted by Alissa at 4:52 PM
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