Under The Influence
I remember when starting to write my college essays never being able to come up with what I thought was a good answer for the question “who is the most influential person in your life.” I remember thinking the only way I would get accepted to any school was to come up with an “educated” response by writing about someone who won the Nobel Peace Prize or landed on the moon. While these people may have made wonderful contributions to the world and our society, it would be impossible for them to impact my life the way only my Mom could.
Back then I’m not sure I could have written a compelling 300 word essay on the person who has influenced my life the most because I did not know or understand her the way I do now. I was a teenager consumed in my struggle for independence and the way I saw it, my Mother was only one keeping me from fully attaining it. She had a way with keeping most of her thoughts and decisions about my life an enigma to me, which only added to my frustrations and fueled my rebellious behavior. Since I have become a mother, however, so many aspects of her personality are now clear to me. Suddenly, I “get” her. This is such a turning point in my life, especially since the more I know about her, the more I realize that there is no person on the planet more like me and no one I’d rather be more like in many ways.
If there were only one word I could use to describe my Mother, it would be “giving.” She has given my brothers and I everything she possibly could to ensure our happiness. I know it wasn’t always easy for my parents financially, as my Mom stayed home with us and took care of us full-time until the youngest; yours truly, started kindergarten. They made many sacrifices so that we could play hockey, football, baseball, softball, be a girl scout, figure skate, get braces, and go to college. The list goes on and on. And the term “giving” is certainly not limited to material or financial acts. Watching the way she raised us, my brother’s and I have inevitably absorbed some of my Mother’s best qualities. Through her we have formed our definition of what a parent should be and if I could go back in time I would have taken more notes. Since my Mother was 19, she has totally given herself to her children and I truly believe her love for us is as unconditional as love gets.
I think it is assumed that once a child reaches the age of 18, moves out, goes to college, gets married and starts a family of his/her own, the parents role changes drastically. Images pop into my head of these “empty-nesters” touring the world on a cruise ship or sipping champagne under a palm tree, appearing to enjoy themselves as if they just broke out of prison after a twenty-five year sentence. I agree that parents’ roles change when their children become adults, however, that is not to say my Mother has become a less significant part of my life or that I don’t need her anymore. In fact, I don’t think I have ever needed her or appreciated her more at any other time in my life than the past nine months. As my focus shifts away from me to my own daughter’s happiness, my Mother reminds me that she is still willing to do everything she can for mine. She is always willing to listen, share her motherly wisdom, spend her days off with me, and keep me fed, clothed and my gas tank full. The thing that makes my heart totally melt though, is the way she looks at my daughter. There is no greater confirmation of her love for my brothers and I than the enjoyment my Mother finds in spending time with her grandchildren.
I am inspired by my Mother’s thoughtfulness and the great effort she puts forth to make my life a happy one. I hope that I share her ability to impact my family and friends in such a positive way. And while there are many factors that influence my state of being, I consider my Mother to have had perhaps the most significant impact on just how content I am with my life and all that I have. I count my blessings, including the relationship I have with my Mother and the potential that I may have such a wonderful bond with my own daughter, each and every day.
Back then I’m not sure I could have written a compelling 300 word essay on the person who has influenced my life the most because I did not know or understand her the way I do now. I was a teenager consumed in my struggle for independence and the way I saw it, my Mother was only one keeping me from fully attaining it. She had a way with keeping most of her thoughts and decisions about my life an enigma to me, which only added to my frustrations and fueled my rebellious behavior. Since I have become a mother, however, so many aspects of her personality are now clear to me. Suddenly, I “get” her. This is such a turning point in my life, especially since the more I know about her, the more I realize that there is no person on the planet more like me and no one I’d rather be more like in many ways.
If there were only one word I could use to describe my Mother, it would be “giving.” She has given my brothers and I everything she possibly could to ensure our happiness. I know it wasn’t always easy for my parents financially, as my Mom stayed home with us and took care of us full-time until the youngest; yours truly, started kindergarten. They made many sacrifices so that we could play hockey, football, baseball, softball, be a girl scout, figure skate, get braces, and go to college. The list goes on and on. And the term “giving” is certainly not limited to material or financial acts. Watching the way she raised us, my brother’s and I have inevitably absorbed some of my Mother’s best qualities. Through her we have formed our definition of what a parent should be and if I could go back in time I would have taken more notes. Since my Mother was 19, she has totally given herself to her children and I truly believe her love for us is as unconditional as love gets.
I think it is assumed that once a child reaches the age of 18, moves out, goes to college, gets married and starts a family of his/her own, the parents role changes drastically. Images pop into my head of these “empty-nesters” touring the world on a cruise ship or sipping champagne under a palm tree, appearing to enjoy themselves as if they just broke out of prison after a twenty-five year sentence. I agree that parents’ roles change when their children become adults, however, that is not to say my Mother has become a less significant part of my life or that I don’t need her anymore. In fact, I don’t think I have ever needed her or appreciated her more at any other time in my life than the past nine months. As my focus shifts away from me to my own daughter’s happiness, my Mother reminds me that she is still willing to do everything she can for mine. She is always willing to listen, share her motherly wisdom, spend her days off with me, and keep me fed, clothed and my gas tank full. The thing that makes my heart totally melt though, is the way she looks at my daughter. There is no greater confirmation of her love for my brothers and I than the enjoyment my Mother finds in spending time with her grandchildren.
I am inspired by my Mother’s thoughtfulness and the great effort she puts forth to make my life a happy one. I hope that I share her ability to impact my family and friends in such a positive way. And while there are many factors that influence my state of being, I consider my Mother to have had perhaps the most significant impact on just how content I am with my life and all that I have. I count my blessings, including the relationship I have with my Mother and the potential that I may have such a wonderful bond with my own daughter, each and every day.
posted by Alissa at 8:22 PM
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