The 6th Key
There is one more key that I’ve learned is necessary to being a good mom and it is simply to believe you are a good mom. I’ve found that there are so many questions in which there is not one correct answer. There are a number of solutions to every problem, which in turn forces me to keep asking myself if I’ve done the right thing in every situation.
Trying to “train” Caroline so life will be easier for me means getting her on a feeding schedule, getting her adjusted to her crib, getting her to fall asleep on her own, getting her to play contently by herself etc. etc. The list seems long for her not even hitting four months of age yet. Though I do generally know what she needs when she cries, the solution seems to be ever changing. I find that I’m constantly questioning whether I should have done something differently: should I have held on for five more minutes until she fell asleep before deciding to feed her? Should I have let her fussed for another minute in her crib before picking her up and rocking her to sleep? Is she ever going to be able to entertain herself if I’m playing with her 90% of the time she’s awake? Am I being selfish when I allow her to drowsily breastfeed for just a couple of minutes when she looks so comfortable or for holding her so much? I drive myself absolutely crazy on a daily basis wondering how my decisions are shaping Caroline’s personality. I know that if I just keep doing what I think is best for her, everything will be okay. I just hope that kissing her a million times a day or cuddling up with her once in a while is not encouraging her to become totally dependent on me for the rest of her life.
So far, I am confident that all of our decisions concerning Caroline have been the right ones. I know there will be times as she gets older and her personality develops more, that we will have regrets thinking the outcome would be different if only we had reacted differently in certain situations. I believe Caroline is a good baby. She’s calm most of the time unless she needs something, she laughs and plays well by herself and she generally seems happy. My only concern is that she is quite attached to me. Leaving her is becoming more difficult as she cries more when with her dad and refuses to drink from a bottle. She typically stays content with her other relatives holding her for only a few minutes. But I have heard that many babies that breastfeed react this way. If my only source of food came from the ice cream truck, I know for a fact that I’d be running down the street all day trying to catch it.
My point is, I think I’m doing an okay job as a mom and I’m going to continue to tell myself that in hopes it will save me the expense of therapy every day for the rest of my child raising years.
Trying to “train” Caroline so life will be easier for me means getting her on a feeding schedule, getting her adjusted to her crib, getting her to fall asleep on her own, getting her to play contently by herself etc. etc. The list seems long for her not even hitting four months of age yet. Though I do generally know what she needs when she cries, the solution seems to be ever changing. I find that I’m constantly questioning whether I should have done something differently: should I have held on for five more minutes until she fell asleep before deciding to feed her? Should I have let her fussed for another minute in her crib before picking her up and rocking her to sleep? Is she ever going to be able to entertain herself if I’m playing with her 90% of the time she’s awake? Am I being selfish when I allow her to drowsily breastfeed for just a couple of minutes when she looks so comfortable or for holding her so much? I drive myself absolutely crazy on a daily basis wondering how my decisions are shaping Caroline’s personality. I know that if I just keep doing what I think is best for her, everything will be okay. I just hope that kissing her a million times a day or cuddling up with her once in a while is not encouraging her to become totally dependent on me for the rest of her life.
So far, I am confident that all of our decisions concerning Caroline have been the right ones. I know there will be times as she gets older and her personality develops more, that we will have regrets thinking the outcome would be different if only we had reacted differently in certain situations. I believe Caroline is a good baby. She’s calm most of the time unless she needs something, she laughs and plays well by herself and she generally seems happy. My only concern is that she is quite attached to me. Leaving her is becoming more difficult as she cries more when with her dad and refuses to drink from a bottle. She typically stays content with her other relatives holding her for only a few minutes. But I have heard that many babies that breastfeed react this way. If my only source of food came from the ice cream truck, I know for a fact that I’d be running down the street all day trying to catch it.
My point is, I think I’m doing an okay job as a mom and I’m going to continue to tell myself that in hopes it will save me the expense of therapy every day for the rest of my child raising years.
posted by Alissa at 3:56 PM
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