Diet Update - Week 1

Though I have been trying to diet since January, it is really only the seventh day of what I consider to be my true weight loss phase. My will has finally agreed to cooperate with my desire to lose weight and already, I have lost approximately seven pounds! (Yes, I am aware and don’t care that this is probably all water weight). I am ashamed to admit that it took writing and hanging on my fridge a list of virtues that I believe myself to possess, however, don’t always care to use where sweets are concerned. I read these every time I found myself in the kitchen for five days straight, until finally that feeling of thinness came back and that now gets me through. (Just to clarify, the feeling comes long before the actuality of being thin).

More than ninety percent of the time I do eat balanced, nutritious meals. The problem for me comes in when I see a delicious dessert recipe on the Food Network that I just happen to have all the ingredients in my pantry for, whenever it snows, whenever it’s Saturday, or whenever I decide it would be the perfect time to bake and eat a delicious dessert. I truly believe I have been cursed with sixteen sweet teeth instead of just one. The other problem, of course, is that I truly do want to diet and know that having sweets in my own house ultimately always leads to catastrophic failure. The minute I am finished baking the most delicious brownies or chewy chocolaty cookies, I force myself to eat every single one so that I can begin my diet without such burning temptation. I wonder if this mentality is one bulimics share, however, I’m also one who hates to waste and wouldn’t dream of turning over my delicious creations to the ceramic throne.

So the dieting continues. I have a “no list” on my fridge of all my most favorite indulgences. It is only until April 21st, the day preceding my friend Jess’ wedding, that I am forbidding myself these sweets. I plan to be at my goal weight by then and pray that looking in the mirror and liking what I see will stop me from overindulging from that point on. My goal weight is only a few more pounds away, but this time I expect my midsection to hang on to the little tire of fat it has accumulated during pregnancy for dear life. But as the list on my fridge will tell me, I am a fighter and I will win.