Hello Temper Tantrums
Obviously being a first-time mother and nieve, I thought the amount of attention the girl gets paired with Caroline's verbal skills, would help us skip this stage all-together. Unfortunately, I was wrong. I think it was the tenth one of the day on Monday, when Caroline decided to add throwing puffs at my head while I was trying to drive on top of all the yelling and kicking and I couldn't help myself from giving her leg a squeeze and yelling right back. After that, I decided I needed to first, try and understand what these tantrums were all about and how to keep my patience and help her deal with them instead of reacting like a child myself.
What I found in researching was that they are likely her way of trying to get more control over things and her inability to fully express herself to me (oh, and not liking to hear the word "no"). Though she is quite verbal for a two-year old, I still think she does not totally know how to deal with her emotions. So I've been trying to offer her more choices throughout the day to make her feel like she does play a part in deciding what goes on in our world. My approach when she starts getting out of control is to first, try and ask her why she's upset, then ask her if she needs a hug, and finally if she just can't get a handle on things in a minute or two, I resort to putting her in her crib and leaving the room until she calms down a bit. Now, after reading many articles on the topic, you would think my leaving her was a form of child abuse. But walking away from the situation for a minute helps me remain calm and sometimes, that's what I need to do to refrain from yelling back, which I always regret afterwards. Thankfully, I've been noticing that either it's my approach that's been making the tantrums come less often and last a shorter time, or there's some other reason of which I'm totally unaware.
What I find most amazing through this experience is that the tantrums can happen without more than a split-seconds notice and when they're over, she acts as if they never happened. Now that I have been able to keep myself from becoming angry about the fact that I have no control over her emotions, I am able to find humor in the craziness of it all and how darn cute she can be when it's all over.
What I found in researching was that they are likely her way of trying to get more control over things and her inability to fully express herself to me (oh, and not liking to hear the word "no"). Though she is quite verbal for a two-year old, I still think she does not totally know how to deal with her emotions. So I've been trying to offer her more choices throughout the day to make her feel like she does play a part in deciding what goes on in our world. My approach when she starts getting out of control is to first, try and ask her why she's upset, then ask her if she needs a hug, and finally if she just can't get a handle on things in a minute or two, I resort to putting her in her crib and leaving the room until she calms down a bit. Now, after reading many articles on the topic, you would think my leaving her was a form of child abuse. But walking away from the situation for a minute helps me remain calm and sometimes, that's what I need to do to refrain from yelling back, which I always regret afterwards. Thankfully, I've been noticing that either it's my approach that's been making the tantrums come less often and last a shorter time, or there's some other reason of which I'm totally unaware.
What I find most amazing through this experience is that the tantrums can happen without more than a split-seconds notice and when they're over, she acts as if they never happened. Now that I have been able to keep myself from becoming angry about the fact that I have no control over her emotions, I am able to find humor in the craziness of it all and how darn cute she can be when it's all over.
posted by Alissa at 12:19 PM
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