Hello Temper Tantrums

Obviously being a first-time mother and nieve, I thought the amount of attention the girl gets paired with Caroline's verbal skills, would help us skip this stage all-together. Unfortunately, I was wrong. I think it was the tenth one of the day on Monday, when Caroline decided to add throwing puffs at my head while I was trying to drive on top of all the yelling and kicking and I couldn't help myself from giving her leg a squeeze and yelling right back. After that, I decided I needed to first, try and understand what these tantrums were all about and how to keep my patience and help her deal with them instead of reacting like a child myself.

What I found in researching was that they are likely her way of trying to get more control over things and her inability to fully express herself to me (oh, and not liking to hear the word "no"). Though she is quite verbal for a two-year old, I still think she does not totally know how to deal with her emotions. So I've been trying to offer her more choices throughout the day to make her feel like she does play a part in deciding what goes on in our world. My approach when she starts getting out of control is to first, try and ask her why she's upset, then ask her if she needs a hug, and finally if she just can't get a handle on things in a minute or two, I resort to putting her in her crib and leaving the room until she calms down a bit. Now, after reading many articles on the topic, you would think my leaving her was a form of child abuse. But walking away from the situation for a minute helps me remain calm and sometimes, that's what I need to do to refrain from yelling back, which I always regret afterwards. Thankfully, I've been noticing that either it's my approach that's been making the tantrums come less often and last a shorter time, or there's some other reason of which I'm totally unaware.

What I find most amazing through this experience is that the tantrums can happen without more than a split-seconds notice and when they're over, she acts as if they never happened. Now that I have been able to keep myself from becoming angry about the fact that I have no control over her emotions, I am able to find humor in the craziness of it all and how darn cute she can be when it's all over.

Baby #2 is...

(Written on Dec. 13, 2007)

A boy! I swear the very first body parts that were visible on the monitor were two legs with something very clearly in between. The technician didn't even have to tell us before we figured out we were having a boy. I hate to admit I had a preference, especially because I would have been overjoyed either way, but I am thrilled to be having a boy. I think it's the thought of a slightly new experience this time around that really excites me.

Just after the appointment, I went shopping with my Mom and it was so refreshing to be able to buy blue and tan in the place of pink and purple for a change. Of course when I think about everything else, I feel the "deer in the headlights" look come on my face. I've changed a boy's diaper maybe twice and it completely frightens me to think about all the new crevices I'll have to clean out. I've also been questioning if there are any ways I'll need to act differently with a boy, but I think I've come to the conclusion that treating both my children as equally as possible is the best thing to do. Of course, I'm sure they'll have different personalities, and I'll do whatever I can to encourage them to be their own little persons, whether that changes the way I act towards them, I don't know.

The rest of the appointment was pretty good. Our Dr. mentioned that she thought my due date was sooner, perhaps by 9 days! Calculating the date we started trying, however, I think it might be around May 6th at the very earliest. I just hope the larger size of the baby is not due to my excess eating (I'm actually at 142 at this point, which isn't too bad)! The other issue I have is that my placenta is partially covering my cervix, which in most cases rises up as my uterus grows and poses no problem. Worst case, if it does stay or gets any lower, I may need to have a c-section. I'm not worried, because the baby's health doesn't seem to be in jeopardy because of it, but I do pray for a natural delivery.

Of course with all the baby's due around the same time, we all found out this week what we were having. Pat and Sam are having a little girl and Erica and Dave a little boy! Kara and Kev just had their little girl Claire, too. It's just so exciting all the birth news.